OK, there are lots of reasons that I could not be a Major League Baseball manager.  Allow me to list some of them.

(1)  I never played again after going 1 for 3 with a bunt single in my one year of playing Babe Ruth ball at age 13.

(2)  I would look really bad in a baseball uniform (of course I could wear a business suit like Connie Mack did–my wife says I look good in a business suit).

(3)  I’m too nice.

(4)  Reason #3 nothwithstanding, if a player making $10 million per year failed to hustle even one time, I’d try to fine him $11 million.

(5)  I’d pull for the Braves even if I was managing another team.

But I have in mind a particular reason that I could not be a Major League manager, a reason that came up just today.

My son Joshua and I attended the Spring Training tilt between the Tampa Bay Rays and the Houston Astros at Osceola County Stadium in Kissimmee.  (We very much enjoyed the stadium, by the way.) 

In the top of the first inning, Elliott Johnson led off with a single and then stole second base.  Johnny Damon (An aside: a girl at the game was wearing a t-shirt that said “Johnny Damon throws like a girl.”  Funny.) then walked.

At that point I leaned over and said to Joshua, “This situation is why I could never be a Major League manager.  I don’t care if it is the #3 batter coming up; if my team has runners on first and second and nobody out, the next batter up is bunting them over.”

The next batter, #3 in the order, was Matt Joyce who flied out to right field; the runners did not advance.

Cleanup batter Sean Rodriquez then stuck out swinging on a full count pitch with Johnson stealing third and Damon stealing second.  So then the Rays had runners on second and third but there were two outs.

And Casey Kotchman struck out swinging, stranding both runners.

Again, had I been managing the Rays, once we got runners on first and second with no outs, the next batter would have been bunting no matter who he was.  I wouldn’t care if it was Evan Longoria (who didn’t play today).

Clearly, most Major League players would not want to play for a manager who managed like that because the big boppers want to pad their big bopper statistics.  Besides, some people would say, you don’t take the bat out of the big bopper’s hands; he might hit a three-run homer. 

Besides, some people would claim, sluggers aren’t good bunters.

To which I say: Balderdash!  If a big league hitter can’t learn to bunt, he’s not a big league hitter.

I would require all of my players to spend 10-15 minutes each day doing nothing but laying down bunts.  I’d have them first learn the basics of bunting.  Once they had the basics down, I’d have them practice bunting in specific situations.  I’d have one mean bunting machine of a team.

The way I see it, bunting is a basic baseball skill.  Moreover, it’s one of the best components of the culture of baseball because, more often than not, bunting means sacrificing yourself–your statistics, your glory, your spotlight–for the good of the team and for the sake of the win.

It’s the way all Major League managers should manage.

But they don’t.

More’s the pity.

“You can’t beat fun at the old ball park.”  It’s as true today as it was the hundreds of times I heard Ernie Johnson Sr. say it on broadcasts of Braves games.

You especially can’t beat fun at the old Spring Training ball park, although lots of the stadiums currently in use aren’t old; that’s the case with Champion Stadium at Disney’s Wide World of Sports Complex in Orlando which opened in 1997.  I’ve also been to beautiful new stadiums like Legends Field in Tampa which is the spring home of the Yankees and Bright House Field in Clearwater which is the the home of the Phillies.

I’ve also enjoyed some of the older parks such as McKechnie Field in Bradenton (built in 1923 and home to the Pirates) and Dunedin Stadium (constructed in 1930 and home of the Blue Jays).  I look forward to tomorrow which will bring with it my first visit to Osceola County Stadium in Kissimmee (opened in 1985 and home of the Astros).

A few years ago I saw my first game at Space Coast Stadium in Viera (opened 1994 and home to the Nationals); it is by far my least favorite Spring Training venue.

I was both thrilled and saddened in 2008 to make my first visit to Holman Stadium (built in 1953), part of the legendary Dodgertown complex in Vero Beach; I was thrilled because I had always wanted to go  there and saddened because it was the Dodgers’ last spring spent in Vero.

Anyway, you can’t beat fun at the ballpark, whether it’s an old or a new one.

The fun at Champion Stadium naturally has a Disney feel to it.  For example, when some high school baseball and softball teams were recognized for completing their own spring training at Wide World of Sports, their trophies were shaped like Mickey Mouse and they were accompanied in their team photos by Goofy.  When a young lady went to the mound to throw the ceremonial first pitch, she was accompanied by Mickey. 

But hey, you’re at Disney World, the happiest place on earth, so why complain about such hokiness?

Musical entertainment is provided at Champion Stadium by the Philharmonic Saxophone Quartet.  Today, I was greatly pleased and very encouraged when it was announced that they were going to play the National Anthem.  I have often complained of the practice of having some singer or wannabe singer “perform” the Anthem since they usually sing it in a fashion that makes it impossible for ordinary mortals to sing along. So I thought, “Great, the Philharmonic Saxophone Quartet will play and the crowd with sing.” 

And we did. 

Well, maybe a couple hundred of the 9,000 people in attendance sang; I found it very disappointing, especially when you consider that practically everybody sang “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” when the Quartet played it during the Seventh Inning Stretch, which the Champion Stadium announcer, I’m sure on orders from management, persists in calling the “Seventh Inning Singalong,” a practice that makes my baseball purist blood boil every time I hear it.

But, hey, I was at the happiest place on earth, so why complain?

I do have one serious complaint about Champion Stadium, though: the hot dogs.  I’ve been to stadiums in Florida that offer brats, polish sausages, foot long hot dogs, and other varieties.  At Champion your choice is a hot dog–a plain old hot dog.  They could and should do better.

Today’s game between the Braves and Marlins was fun.  The Braves got solo home runs from Freddie Freeman and minor leaguer Brandon Hicks; the one by Hicks came with two outs in the bottom of the ninth and tied the game 4-4, sending it to extra innings.  The teams played two more innings before calling it a tie after the 11th.

Nate McClouth had two hits; he looks like he’s ready to have a real comeback year. 

Tim Hudson, Johnny Venters, and Craig Kimbrel all looked sharp–Venters continued to look virtually unhittable–while the only pitching letdown came when veteran lefty George Sherrill gave up three runs. 

Tomorrow it’s the Rays visiting the Astros in Kissimmee.  I don’t have a dog in that hunt, but hey, it’s baseball–and you can’t beat fun at the Old Ball Park.

I just hope they have a decent selection of hot dogs.

I love watching baseball and, like most people, I love the exciting plays.

Who hasn’t been thrilled by the sight of a mammoth walk-off home run?

Who hasn’t been excited by the unbelievably acrobatic defensive play?

Who hasn’t been impressed by the overwhelming pitching performance?

To me, the most exciting plays in baseball are the steal of home and the inside-the-park home run, in that order.

But none of those are my favorite plays.  I am of course impressed by great individual performances and by feats that result from the incredible athleticism of a great player but such plays are not my favorites.

So what are my favorite plays?  Here they are, in no particular order.

1.  The hit and run.

2.  Hitting the cut off man.

3.  The sacrifice bunt.

4.  A hit up the middle or to the opposite field.

5.  Protecting the plate when there are two strikes.

6.  The pitcher covering first base on a ball hit toward the first baseman.

7.  The pitcher backing up the appropriate base.

8.  The pitcher holding a runner on at first base.

There are other plays that make baseball exciting.

But the plays I listed–the ones that take practice, the ones that require technique, the ones the successful completion of which mean the players did the right thing in the right way, the ones that involve the player giving himself up–they are the plays that make baseball beautiful.

And make no mistake about it–baseball when it is played right is a beautiful game.

I understand that the Braves under the leadership of Fredi Gonzalez are working more on the fundamentals than they did in recent years.  If so, that’s a good thing because it could lead to beautiful things, not to mention–and this is no small thing–more wins.